Our First Brush With A Bully

We had our first encounter with a bully last week. It happened after StrollerFit, when the kids were allowed to run around and stretch their legs. Peanut was fascinated with these two older boys, Joe and Alex. Joe, an unusually tall and rambunctious three-year-old, is the instructor's son. He's always pushing the kids down and throwing toys at their heads, but the moms understand he is not maliciously trying to hurt anyone. No matter how much Joe's mom tries to prevent him from knocking over the other kids, he just can't because he's so much bigger, faster, and stronger. Then there's Alex, the new kid. This four-year-old came with his mom and nine-month-old sister in tow. Once released from the double-stroller he shared with his sister, he seemed to rule the basketball court. Alex was the biggest kid there, even bigger than Joe.

All Peanut wanted to do was hang out with the big kids. At one point, I saw the boys circling Peanut like sharks and decided it might be a good idea to reel the little guy in. As Peanut was running toward me, Alex followed and tried to get him to stop by pulling on his shoulder. Peanut, clueless, kept running toward me. Then finally, Alex jumped in front of Peanut, grabbed him by collar with both of his hands, and put his face right up to Peanut's - essentially, staring him down. I went up to them and gently asked Alex if I could help. What I wanted to say was, "get your dirty paws off my son!" Alex was unrelenting. I could tell the politically correct approach was getting nowhere, so I reached down and peeled Alex's fingers off Peanut's collar and removed my son from the situation. As Peanut was walking away, Alex followed a couple feet away, staring with his eyes squinted, brow furrowed, and mouth pursed.

Alex's mom, busy tending to his little sister, missed the whole thing, but the other moms witnessed this strangely aggressive behavior.

I honestly had no idea how to handle the situation. A part of me wanted to reenact the scene with Rebecca De Mornay and the schoolyard bully in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. The other part of me was ready to march up to this child's mom and share a thought or two about parenting. Needless to say, I refrained from taking any kind of impulsive action, but as soon as I got home devoured every tidbit I could find about how children and parents should handle bullies.

I hate violence and Peanut would be severely punished for starting fights, but if he's picked on and another kid tries to hurt him, he will be taught to -- fight to win. I took Tae Kwon Do when I was younger and we already planned on enrolling Peanut once he's older; having this mild brush with a bully only reaffirmed my decision.